Murray Sinclair and Better Angels

How we can all learn from the graciousness of this great Canadian.

The Hon, Sen. Murray Sinclair, painted by Kent Monkman in 2024.

I first met Murray Sinclair the week he released the initial findings of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) in June 2015. It was the end of the Harper government and I was in the cabinet and had a lot of passion for issues related to reconciliation. I thanked him for this long and difficult work he had done for the country and the toll it would have taken on him personally for re-living the trauma experiences with so many survivors. I could see in his eyes that this resonated with him, but his stoic and dutiful response deflected the toll on him. He said something to the effect that “it was important work that I was very glad to do”. I can only imagine the toll it took on him, but he was always doing difficult work to help others.

We lost the election a few months later and I would see Murray from time to time in Ottawa during his work in the Senate. To understand the true beauty of Murray Sinclair as a person is to know how my most meaningful conversation with him came to pass. It happened at one of the lowest points in my political career and in my early months as a federal leader. While politicians like to forget these moments, I want to share it to show how we can all learn a lot from the legacy of Murray Sinclair, the person.

I was opposition leader throughout the COVID-19 pandemic and most of the public outreach and events I did was done through Zoom calls with thousands of people across the country. I literally had done thousands of hours of recorded calls during the leadership and my time as Conservative leader, but only one of them generated national headlines. Early one morning, I got a call from my team to say that a clip from a video call I had done with a Conservative campus club some months before was being released and that the Liberal/NDP-friendly news source - Press Progress - were lining up reactions from the Assembly of First Nations National Chief and many other people to condemn me for the statement. The controversial clip and condemnations were also being timed to coincide with the 5-year anniversary of the tabling of the final TRC Report.

When I saw what clip they were using, I was mortified. While it was plucked from a much longer conversation that was held in a virtual-equivalent of a ‘pub night’, I immediately regretted what I had said. Even more than what was said, I regretted the tone of my remarks on as important of a topic as reconciling our past and present on the issue of residential schools. The discussion related to the renaming of Ryerson University and the wider issue of ‘cancel culture’, which I had been talking about for many years. I was normally very clear and serious in my statements about cancel culture and the need for us to try and better balance the past and present. In fact, in my first televised speech to my caucus a few months earlier, I had even quoted Murray Sinclair in an attempt to achieve that balance using Sir John A Macdonald and Louis Riel as examples from the past. But the clip in the news story that morning made me look arrogant, inconsiderate and out of touch. I agreed with that impression and was very disappointed in myself. While I retracted what I said in the clip and apologized for the tone and callous nature of my remarks, it was a very low point for me personally.

Over the next few days, I had some difficult calls to make to apologize and try and restore trust with people for falling short of their (and my) expectations. The only call I remember from those days is perhaps the one I was most nervous to have. This was my call with the Hon. Murray Sinclair. I cherish that call because at one of the lowest points in my public life Murray Sinclair was determined to see the better angels in the nature of his friend. By the end of the hour long call, it had been one of the most genuine and inspiring conversations that I have ever had. We spoke deeply about reconciliation, but also about life and the challenges we all face to live up to our potential and our own expectations. To me, it embodied the exceptional grace and style of Murray Sinclair.

The call began with me starting to apologize and tell Murray how disappointed I was in myself, when he stopped me and asked me to think about what led me to that moment. This caught me off guard. None of the other calls had gone this way. He then asked me about my own education and when I had first learned about residential schools and how it made me feel. When I told him that I was in law school when I first truly learned about this sad chapter of our history, he then took me on a discussion of the school system, history, culture and our country. He used examples from his own life and what he had learned from his work with the TRC. He also asked about my children (Mollie and Jack) and whether I had discussions with them about residential schools and how our children should see their role in our national story.

Rather than a call based on disappointment in my actions, he had led me on a conversation into the history of our country and why conversations were more important than condemnations. By the end of the call, Murray was not only wishing me success in my job, but he offered to be there anytime I needed him for advice. He even offered to speak to Mollie or Jack’s classes on the subject of the TRC and its work. It was one of the most extraordinary conversations I had ever had and it left me inspired to do better.

To me, this is the true legacy of Murray Sinclair. How he treated other people. He did not let the discrimination or disappointments in his own life, or even the depression from his work from working with survivors from trauma ever stop him from seeing the good in others. Murray could have lived a life of bitter resentment, but instead was an eternal optimist in the potential of Canada and its people. That is what I will remember most about him and I encourage you to do the same. In this age of polarization and social media tribalism, we should all try and be a little more like Murray Sinclair.

P.S. I am attaching my Blue Skies podcast with Murray from 2022 where you can hear his positive spirit and message in action. RIP Murray.